Sunday, December 21, 2008

Oral Sex: Tips for Men

How To Perform Cunnilingus



Some people consider oral sex the most intimate of all sex acts. Cunnilingus, the technical term for performing oral sex on a woman, can be incredibly intimate. To be good at it you have to be an excellent reader of her body, her breathing, her movements, and what she may be telling you with words. Everything you do is for your partner in that moment and not based on a performance expectations, lessons from porn, or previous oral sex experiences. It can be a bit Zen...but with more saliva.


Time Required: 30-60 minutes


Here's How:

1 - Clean yourself up!
Make sure your hands are clean, and your nails are trimmed as you'll probably want to use your hands as well as your mouth on her. If you have facial hair and shave regularly, be sure to do it now, nothing kills the mood quite like sandpaper on her sensitive parts.

2 - Get wet.
A lot of people have preconceived notions about the taste and/or smell of their partner’s genitals. If you're anxious about this, suggest a romantic bath or shower together and then go down on her. Getting naked and wet with each other is never a bad idea, and as you get more comfortable you will probably find that your partners taste and smell trigger more arousal than anything else. Some people use flavored lubricants, and many dental dams (great for safer sex) are flavored also.

3 - Start slowly.
Most women won’t want to go from zero to oral sex in 30 seconds. Take your time and ease into it. Do other things you know she loves. Use your hands and mouth all over her body—which will nicely foreshadow what is to come. When she’s good and excited—her hips are thrusting and the moans pretty regular, head south

4 - Get comfortable.
Both of you will enjoy this more if you’re both physically comfortable. Use pillows and be creative with oral sex positions so that you are both relaxed and feel like you can move around. Some people will find it hard on their neck to lie between their partners legs with their head poised over her vulva. For others this will work just great. Remember that it’s okay to change positions and move around.

5 - Get the lay of the land.
If you don’t have the body parts, you may want to brush up on your female genital anatomy . Most of the attention with cunnilingus is on the clitoris, but every woman is different, and there may be other parts of her that will take oral sex from the everyday to the out of this world. Use your fingers to spread her lips and take a good look at her clitoris, her labia, her mons, her vagina, her perineum and her anus.

6 - When in doubt, go slow.
A lot of women have very sensitive clits, so don’t attack her vulva as if it were a juicy ripe peach. Flatten your tongue and use wide slow strokes to explore her inner and outer lips, her vagina, and her clitoris. Imagine licking an ice cream cone. Start at the perineum and lick up and around her clit and back down the other side.

7 - Check the hood.
Most women prefer to have their clitorises licked through the "clitoral hood." This is a fold of skin that covers the actual glans of the clitoris, which is extremely sensitive.

8 - Experiment with different strokes.
In general, women tend to like firm pressure and repetitive motion. Quick tongue flicks against the clitoris can be irritating. If you’re not sure, ask her to give you feedback while you try different kinds of strokes—circular, side-to-side, up-and-down. Don’t take it personally if she flinches—discovering what pleases is often a process of trial and error—just try something else.

9 - Let her give you a hand.
If you've ever seen her masturbate, you have some idea how she likes her clit to be touched. Ask her to show you now, or you can offer her your hand and ask her to demonstrate the kind of stroking she prefers by placing hers on top of yours.

10 - Use your mouth.
Take her clit in your mouth and gently suck on it. Use your mouth to suck on or nibble her labia.

11 - Add penetration.
When she’s good and excited, add some lubricant to your fingers or toy and gently insert it into her vagina. Move them in and out using short but firm strokes. Put your mouth back on her clitoris and lick her while you penetrate her. This won’t do it for all women, but many love the experience of clitoral stimulation and penetration.

12 - Keep a steady pace, try not to stop.
Women like steady stimulation, so don’t stop unless you need to come up for air. You’ll see the signs when she’s getting ready to go over the top—her moans, her thighs pressing against your head, her body arching, her hands tightening on your head! She’ll let you know when to stop.


Tips:

1 - Don't forget the rest of her body. In terms of what's nearby, you can incorporate the perineum and vaginal opening into your oral sex. Let your tongue travel down and pop in and out of the vagina occasionally.

2 - If you are using a sex toy for penetration, she might prefer to work the dildo or vibrator inside her while you're licking. This allows you to concentrate, and her to get the rhythm she likes best.

3 - If your mouth or tongue tires, give it a rest, but replace the stimulation with your hand or a vibrator (unless she wants a rest too).

4 - Male partners need to know that it can take women longer to come than men, and many women are anxious about this. Whatever you do, don't make her feel bad about how long it's taking, and hang in there for the long haul. If you need to stop or change things up, that’s okay, but don’t make it about her “taking too long”.



(source: http://sexuality.about.com)

Anal Play

Essential Tips for Exploring Anal Play




Choose to Explore

While it still remains a taboo subject in public, privately more and more men and women are interested in exploring anal play in one form or another. While it is by no means a required part of healthy sexual expression (as with any other sexual behavior, anal play should be a choice, not a pressure) this increased interest is good news for at least two reasons.


The Benefits of Anal Eroticism

Firstly, more interest means more of us can get clear and accurate information about a part of the body often shrouded in mystery.

Secondly, this whole area of our body has been largely ignored for its sexual potential. The bum, the anus, and the rectum are all sites of enormous potential pleasure. They respond to feelings of touch, pressure, movement, and can be incredibly pleasurable.

That said, there is still a pervasive taboo about anal play, and perhaps because of this, sharing this sort of forbidden activity can also be a way of increasing the intimacy between partners.

Dispelling fear and combating ignorance is the first step to enjoying anal sex. Here are five important steps to exploring anal play.


1 - Learn about the anus. These are some of the pleasure points: The opening of the anus contains the highest concentration of nerve endings. Thereafter, the anus responds mostly to feelings of fullness or pressure. Putting pressure on the ventral wall of the anus a couple of inches in will stimulate the (male) prostate gland. The tip of the (internal) clitoral body in women can also be stimulated through the anus.


2 - Relax and take the time to explore your anal opening (sphincter muscles), anal canal, (male) prostate gland. Be conscious of what feels good, what does not. Stop if you are overwhelmed by difficult or negative emotions. Breathe, relax, continue if you choose. If it hurts, do not force it. Pain is an indication that something is not quite right.


3 - Open your mind to all the possibilities of anal play. These include touching with fingers or other body parts or objects, licking or oral-anal contact (popularly known as rimming), pulling open the buttocks thereby stretching the anal opening, and penetration with fingers, toys, penis. Do not forget fantasy and dirty talking to augment anal play -- or during another type of play entirely!


4 - Play safely. Because the lining of the anus is very sensitive to damage, special precautions should be taken. Anything near or in the anus should be smooth or free of jagged edges; cut fingernails short and round the edges with an emery board. Dildos with a flared base are advised - anything that slips out of your grasp may not be easily retrievable! Lubricant is essential for anal penetration as the anus does not produce its own lubrication.


5 - Keep clean. Do not put anything from the anus to vagina -- bacteria that live quite happily in the anus with cause havoc in the vagina. Use a fresh condom on penis or toys and a fresh latex glove on hands, or wash very thoroughly. If there is risk of hepatitis, use a dental dam or slice open a condom to use as a barrier for oral-anal contact.




(original source: http://sexuality.about.com)